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A copy of a SEMI TIMES newspaper, creased through the middle. The headline is blacked out. In order, the words blacked out have lengths 1, 5, 5, 5, 4, 5, 2, 4. The subtitle reads, "Investigation of Kennedy Space Center finds no evidence of any Christmastime satanic presence."A copy of a SEMI TIMES newspaper, creased through the middle. The headline is blacked out. In order, the words blacked out have lengths 4, 4, 5, 4, 4. The subtitle reads, "Unsurprisingly, rodents feature in analytics of 2022 Mystery Hunt prologue."A copy of a SEMI TIMES newspaper, creased through the middle. The headline is blacked out. In order, the words blacked out have lengths 5, 4, 2, 4, 2, 2, 6. The subtitle reads, "Paradise damaged due to errant throw of Cuban export, situation described as extremely awful."A copy of a SEMI TIMES newspaper, creased through the middle. The headline is blacked out. In order, the words blacked out have lengths (begin quote) 3, 2, 1, 6, 3, 1, 3 (question mark) (end quote). The subtitle reads, "Witness to purported sighting of fruit-mammal hybrid still in disbelief, asks question."A copy of a SEMI TIMES newspaper, creased through the middle. The headline is blacked out. In order, the words blacked out have lengths 2 (period), 3, 3, 2 (period), 5, 4. The subtitle reads, "Bird continues reign of terror after devouring child's Tootsie pop, consumes iron wiggler colleague."

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[see puzzle page for images]
_ _____ _____ _____ ____ _____ __ ____
Investigation of Kennedy Space Center finds no evidence of Christmastime satanic presence
____ ____ _____ ____ ____
Unsurprisingly, rodents feature in analytics of 2022 Mystery Hunt prologue
_____ ____ __ ____ __ __ ______
Paradise damaged due to errant throw of Cuban export, situation described as "extremely awful"
"___ __ _ ______ ___ _ ___?"
Witness to purported sighting of fruit-mammal hybrid still in disbelief, asks question
__. ___ ___ __. _____ ____
Bird continues reign of terror after devouring child's Tootsie pop, consumes iron wiggler colleague
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBC
CDDEEEEEEEEEEGGIIIIIIII
LLLLMMMMNNNNNNNNOOOORRR
RRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTT
TTTTTTTTTTVVVVWWWW?????